Easing Your Family Into Your Biracial Relationship

It may be that segregation has been left in the dust from long ago, but there are still many people that continue to live in the past and clutch their biracial objections close their hearts. If you come from one of these families and have managed to avoid having their prejudices rub off on you; that’s commendable. However, it may be difficult to explain to your backwards family that you’ve met someone of another race from yourself and that the two of you are in a relationship. Most likely, you’ve been hiding this man from your family because of how you know they’ll react. Just don’t wait until you’ve set a wedding date before breaking the news to them, though.

As soon as you realize that this is a man that you see spending a long time with, maybe forever, it’s time to start planning your strategy as to how you’ll tell the family. One thing you can do immediately is start talking about him in glowing terms to your family. Tell them all about his great qualities as well as any significant achievements he’s made in life. A great career is also a good thing to mention. Your family needs to know how well you’re treated by this guy and how happy you are with him. At first, you’ll probably want to see where the relationship is headed before creating drama with your family. Just remember, though, that it’s better to not keep something like this a secret for too long, particularly if this is a man that may become your husband.

Start out by introducing your boyfriend to more rational and tolerant family members. Maybe they can help you with introducing him to those family members that are NOT so amenable and have sealed minds when it comes to anything out of the ordinary such as biracial dating. Put together a nice dinner or gathering somewhere and invite these family members to meet your boyfriend. Tell them beforehand about him and the fact that he’s of a different race than you. Also, re-emphasize the fact that he’s wonderful. You may also want to tell them that you’ve picked them to meet him first because you know they’ll be willing to get to know him without judging the two of you. If this meeting works out, you’ll have some allies.

A lot of times, your boyfriend’s winning personality will work alone to slowly win your family over. Something you may want to be prepared for, though, is that it may be that no matter how hard both of you try or how awesome he is, that there may be some family members that will never accept him. This may be something that you’ll just have to deal with. Try to understand that ignorance abounds these days, even among your family members, and do what you can to move into your happy future. Don’t let others judge your happiness. You should be allowed to have a future with the man that’s best for you no matter what his race.